"Kids don't need their feelings validated. They're born knowing their
feelings are valid. It's only when adults start dismissing their
feelings that children might get the idea that there's something
wrong with them.
What kids often want is what adults want: someone to sympathize,
someone who understands what's going on inside of them. It's so
relieving when someone says "I'm sorry, that really stinks when that
happens." (And ruined when followed by a "but"!)
What needs validated is the child's feelings for *you*. You need to
accept that the child's feelings are valid even if you don't
understand or you think it's silly to be that upset over something or
want something."
Scott Noelle
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