Guess what's on my mind?

I'll give you my reading list...and yep, these books are all over my bedroom, kitchen and living room. I don't read one book at a time. 

1. How to Talk to your Child about Sex
2. Ten Talks Parents Must have with their children about Sex and Character
3. Teenage Survival Manual 
4. What's Love got to do with IT
5. Beyond the Big Talk
6. Everything you NEVER wanted your children to know about Sex
7. Christian Households, The Sanctification of Relationships

Now's a good time...mom is completely a reminder of, for our family, the sacred purpose of marriage and sex. There is NO denying that it has happened, and the kids are full of questions. I don't want that to be ALL that sex is for my children. I was raised to hear about the beauty of sex, but when the rubber hit the road, my parents were horribly embarrassed and upset by my sexuality, and it became trouble. Now I'm facing two kids IN puberty, and two kids starting puberty, and the awareness that we are all sexual beings, from birth. In that I mean, that we are all aware of the corporeal sensations that arise from our sexual nature, the fresh air as the diaper is removed, the differences between boys and girls, etc. 

In the first book, I've most been taken with the discussion of why you should have THE talk before the age of eight. In the words of the authors "It is important to have your main discussion early enough that they form your child's initial attitudes toward sex and serve as  deflector of all the "silliness," "dirtiness," and nonsense that children hear from friends, peers, and media. But having it too early raises issues that kids aren't ready for."  

But I worry that the source of silliness or dirtiness will come from ME. So at the library, I walked the aisles, pulling nearly every book I found about children and sexuality outside of the really extreme right-handed interpretations. I skipped those because after skimming, it seemed to me that they did not provide the information I wanted, rather they went through rhetoric about why and how our children are oversexualized and that X is the answer. Not helpful. 


Blessed Wife and Mom said...

We've had quite a few of these talks at our house. They asked a lot of questions then a while would go by (digesting info) and then more questions, more digesting, etc. They don't seem to have a problem talking to me about sex, or anything really; I'm praying the lines of communication between us are always like this. Open & honest!!!

Melissa said...

Yeah, we are always talking!! I'm really quite pleased with how it has gone, my parents didn't handle it very well, equivocating between TMI and not enough info.

The book about having 'the talk' before eight has been slowly slipping in my opinion. I like that it doesn't suggest waiting later, HOWEVER, I didn't realize that they propose withholding information UNTIL eight. The authors suggest that even if a child asks for more specific information, you say that it's 'really awesome' and a 'surprise' and you'll learn more when you turn eight. Eh. I don't like that. Maybe it's my unschooly bits.