9.01.2008

Monday Ponderism, Steve Edition

* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

* Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

* Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

* Life is sexually transmitted.

* Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

* Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

1 comment:

Heather said...

LOL!! Thanks for the laughs!