`Progress lies not in enhancing what is, but in advancing toward what will be.` Kahlil Gibran
This is for a friend. I know she reads my blog, and I hope she can read this with all the courage that I know she has. My heart is breaking for her...she has given birth to a second child with special needs. She is tired and discouraged and full of fear. She doesn't know what her future looks like, either immediately or in the long run. Her daughter has severe eating disorders, as part of her sensory dysfunction, and has faced malnutrition rarely seen in our society. She has no family to help. She has no support group. In fact, with her oldest son she has faced, from her homeland, such judgement that she fears sharing any information about her daughter's struggles.
`Courage faces fear and thereby masters it` Martin Luther King Jr
Speaking with her yesterday, we were talking about faith systems. My beliefs have helped me tremendously with each of my children as their needs outpace my ability to help them alone. She shook her head and said "Not only do we believe in a different God, but I cannot even believe in God any longer." I can understand that. In our darkest hours with Breanna, when I felt abandoned and alone because no friend understood what we were going through, my family didn't understand, my husband was gone for work, I felt alone. Years later, when speaking with the priest of our church, he said honestly "We didn't know where you went, and figured that we wouldn't see you again." That stung. They never tried to find out what was going on. Then again, I never tried to share, convinced that no one would understand.
`We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy` Walter Anderson
It has taken years of self-empowerment to regain that trust in society. I had to advocate for my child, which she is doing. My friend is seeking top medical specialists and obscure professionals and every kind of help of which she can think. But my fear is that she is doing this all at the expense of faith in herself. Of faith in a higher power. I pray that she can realize that this is the time when she needs faith the most, faith in herself, faith in her daughter, and faith in God.