Yes, yes and finally yes. EVERYONE has been asking me about this. Of course, because I'm expecting baby #8. So obviously I'm as crazy. I want to point out that I have no idea what made her choose IVF to the tune of 14 children. I also want to point out that judgement is not mine.
For us, we didn't plan our children...we're quiverfull. This means that we trust in God to provide not only money and time and 'stuff', but also kindness, courtesy, peace WITH our children. And while sometimes it seems peace is in short supply, there is never a time in which my children are lacking. Because we view our children as a blessing from God, how could we ever mistreat or resent their presence? I'm really offended by this article at msnbc.com talking about 'baby addiction'. I've already heard from family and friends over the past ten years about how having children can't fix your own issues (no kidding), and that I have 'too many' (which is like saying you have too many flowers, paraphrasing Mother Theresa)
Anyway, MSNBC's professional therapist has said
Kids need more than money
But having large numbers of children certainly can strain a family’s finances and emotional reserves, Varma says, and that can negatively impact the children. “Are neglect, abuse, emotional disturbances in children more likely in a situation like this? It’s definitely possible.” Finances and emotional reserves can affect child rearing, whether you have one child or twenty.
Kids in large families — particularly those involving a lot of youngsters close in age — who don’t get enough attention because their mother is depressed or overwhelmed, for instance, may become anxious or depressed themselves, says family psychologist Nadine Kaslow, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University in Atlanta. On the other hand, they may act out to get attention.Again, this is true no matter how many children you have. I know people with TWO children who can't cope, who are depressed, who ignore their children because they don't know how to play or just Be with them.
“It’s really important when you have children to have resources,” Kaslow says. “Not just financial resources but emotional resources.” Funny how this is more important when she's talking about big families. I do not know anyone with a big family who does not have financial and emotional resources. We are a community brought together by the same disdain that this woman shows for people with large families. argh, I just choke on the rest of my argument...moving on!
Peterson says some of the most “damaged” children are those in very poor homes and those in very rich ones. Young children, especially, don’t thrive when they are raised by an army of nannies — even fabulous nannies — at the expense of bonding time with their parents, she says. Nannies come and go, which can be devastating to children who spend the majority of their time with these caregivers.Again, I feel this is true, whether you have one child or twenty. To claim that this is solely in the realm of large families is narrow and provoking.
The author of the article DOES mention in a short paragraph that 'plenty' of large families are not the result of 'baby addiction', I would say MOST. One short line, in a long article emphasizes that damage can occur in small families as well. Too bad they couldn't take the time to show how much joy and happiness can exist in a large family.