Going slow, one step at a time

Sorry I haven't been updating, things are CRAZY around here. I don't even have pictures uploaded from my camera. Bre started taking medicine, which is a first.

From the time she was small, I've been adamant that we would not use medication to change who she was...autism is not a disease. We tried all kinds of diets and supplements, and had not seen a noticeable reaction. However, over the past six months she has gotten increasingly distressed and sometimes violent. Mostly towards herself, but to others as well. This obviously isn't a way we can live...something had to change. She's not emotionally or mentally capable of making those changes herself, and I have worn myself ragged trying to control everything in her surroundings to help. Staying up all night to keep her from targeting Avari in her sleep, to preventing Nathan from playing like a normal two year old so the noise and chaos doesn't push her too far.

Kids shouldn't have to grow up afraid. They shouldn't have to grow up with hidey holes in case their sister gets mad. They shouldn't flinch when someone raises their arm because they're used to violence. It would be irresponsible of me to not take care of this, and it's downright abusive to lock up the offender or sending her away rather than providing a medicine that helps regulate the way her brain works.

So we've started a low dose of risperdal, and it has helped tremendously. Not only has the hurting stopped, her language has increased. It hasn't changed who she is...she still tells her favorite jokes, she still gets frustrated and angry, she still laughs and cries and IS. However, she has a little doorstop that keeps her from flipping into a uncontrollable rage, and she has enough time to really THINK about what she's about to do. She doesn't WANT to hurt anyone. She doesn't WANT to have anyone angry with her. She wants to be happy and to feel loved. And she deserves to feel that way too.